If I were to produce one of those Wildx2 West cowboy films, it would..
..be set in Wyoming.
..have a boy riding a cow as the lead. I mean why call a scruffy horse-riding man a cowboy? More like 'horseman' or something. Anyways, a brown cow, so I could fit in a line that goes "How now, brown cow?". And yes, stirrups, bridle, saddle and all.
..oh, yes, spurs. Big, round, spiky, flashy.
..have NO FUR CHAPS.
..definitely not forget a red bandana round the neck.
..not have any guns. Bows and arrows are much cooler. (Look, the interpretation of 'cowboy' is already unorthodox..) Lassos are fine though.
..sport good ol' hats.
..have Orlando Bloom in it. Okay, maybe a picture/poster of him. Hanging on a wall.
..have a tumbleweed as the cowboy's sidekick. (Because I think tumbleweeds have been so degraded by their ultra-mediocre, unfascinating roles as heralds of idleness.)
..not have a good storyline. (Unless I hire a professional scriptwriter.)
Tickets, anyone?
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